EVE의 에디터 ‘세상에오럴수가’ 입니다.
세상에 오랄수가 싶은 재밌고 신선한 섹스 화두나 오럴때 저럴 때 매번 달라 헷갈리는 섹스 상식들을 다룹니다.
“저는 20대 여성이고요. 섹스토이에 입문한 지 얼마 안 되었는데요, 가족이 없을 때 하루에 한 번은 클리토리스 자위기구를 쓰게 되는데 혹시 이게 문제 되는 행동일지 궁금하고, 혹시 나중에라도 자위중독에 대한 글을 짧게나마 써 주실 수 있을지 여쭤보고 싶습니다. 정말 그런 건지, 그리고 중독의 기준과 어떤 문제점이 있는 건지
알고 싶어요.”
자위를 자주 해서 걱정인 사람들이 있다. 너무 자주 하는 게
아닐까 싶어 걱정도 되고 이러다 건강상 문제가 발생하진 않을까 불안하기도 하다. 자료마다 다르고 사람마다
다른 자위 중독의 기준, 그리고 이에 따라 생기는 문제는 무엇일까? 자세히
알아보도록 하자.
자위가 신체에 미치는 영향
자위는 오히려 신체와 정신에 긍정적인 효능이 더 많다. 자위를 통해 오르가즘에 다다르면 뇌에서는 옥시토신과 엔도르핀이 분비된다. 이 물질들은 스트레스 해소와 숙면에 도움을 줄 뿐만 아니라 두통이나 생리통 등의 신체 고통 완화에도 탁월한 효과가 있다. 특히 남성의 경우 정기적인 자위가 주기적인 정자 배출을 가능케 해 전립선암 위험을 줄인다고 한다. 실제 한 달에 자위를 21번 이상 하는 사람은 4~7번 하는 사람보다 전립선암에 걸릴 확률이 19% 정도 적다.1) 자위가 조루, 탈모를 유발, 정자 수 감소로 인한 불임 확률 증가, 생식기의 모양이나 색을 변화시킨다는 소문은 모두
낭설이다.
자위행위의 부정적 영향은 으레 모든 신체적 활동들이 그렇듯 ‘과함’에서 발생한다. 너무 과하게 생식기에 압력을 가한 채 자위를 하는 경우 생식기에 상처를 내거나 부종을 일으킬 수 있으며, 너무 과한(극단적으로 비현실적인) 포르노 시청을 동반한 잦은 자위는 도파민 수용체의 감소를 유발해 실제 성관계에서 무기력함을 느끼거나 일상에서
낮은 성취감, 우울 등을 유발할 수 있다.
자위 중독의 기준
그렇다면 이런 딜레마가 도출된다.
"나는 아침저녁으로 일주일 내내 자위를 하지만 일상생활에 전혀 문제가 없다. 정서적으로도 지적으로도 쾌활한 삶을 살고 있으며 성생활에 지장도 없다. 그래도 왠지 내가
자위 중독이 아닐까 불안하다. 나는 괜찮은 것인가?"
만약 위와 같은 횟수로 자위를 해도 당신의 일상과 인간관계에 아무런 지장이 없다면 그것은 중독이 아니다. 정신병리에서 중독으로 규정하는 항목은 특정 행위에 몰두함으로
인해 생기는 다양한 사회적, 개인적, 심리적 부적응적 증상을
뜻한다. 당신은 그저 왕성한 신체적 반응을 가진 사람일 뿐이다.
다시 말해 자위의 영향으로 일상생활, 성생활, 사회적 관계에 실질적인 문제가 발생하는 수준이 아니라면 중독이라고 말하기 어렵다. 또한 어떤 수준과 횟수를 넘어야 자위 중독이라는 절대적인 기준은 없다.
그러나 자위를 하지 못했을 때나 그런 상황에 노출되었을 때 강박 증상이
발견된다면 그것은 상담이나 치료를 고민해 볼 필요가 있다. 예를 들어 자위하지 못했을 때 극심한 불안함과
초조함을 느끼는 경우, 이를 참지 못해 회사나 공공장소에서도 자위해야 하는 경우 등을 꼽을 수 있다. 위의 경우는 전문적인 상담과 치료가 필요하다. 다만 강박 증세는
자위가 아니더라도 흔한 현대인의 고충이며 정도에 따라 차이가 있으니 상담 전에 섣부르게 죄책감을 느끼거나 스트레스를 받을 이유가 없다.
내게 중요한 행위라면 더욱 소중하게
19세기 이전만 하더라도 자위는 정신질환이나 중독 증세로 여겨져 탄압의 대상이 되었다. 그러나 현대 의학계에서 자위는 자연적인 신체적 반응으로 이해되며 평생에 따른 성 활동으로 인정받고 있다. 너무 큰 걱정이나 죄책감을 가지지 않았으면 한다.
필자는 자위가 단순한 배출, 자기 위로, 충동적 행위와 같은 비유보다 더 높은 대우를 받을 필요가 있다고 본다. 자위는 나와 하는 섹스이기 때문이다. 섹스를
계획할 때 몸 상태나 감성, 날씨와 무드, 음악과 향과 침대의
푹신함 등을 고민하듯 자위 역시 그런 대접을 받을 필요가 있다.
자위는 신체가 가진 놀랍고도 충만한 감각을 찾아내고 음미할 수 있는 시간이다. 햇살이 비치는 느지막한 오후 좋아하는 음료와 함께 자신의 몸 구석구석을 오랫동안 탐구할 시간을 가지길 추천한다. 거기에 취향에 맞는 섹스토이나 윤활제(이브젤이라던가…)를 곁들인다면 금상첨화다.
바야흐로 사회적 거리 두기의 시대이다. 뉴욕시 보건국에서는 코로나바이러스의
영향으로 섹스 지침 공문을 발표했으며 거기에는 이런 문구가 적혀 있다.
You are your safest sex partner. Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands. 당신은 당신의 가장 안전한 섹스 파트너입니다. 손을
깨끗이 씻는다면 자위는 코로나바이러스로부터 감염 위험이 없습니다.2)
우리는 자위하기 가장 좋은 시대를 살고 있다. 자위 행위를 통해 모두가 행복할 수 있기를 바란다.
p.s 블로그를 운영한 지 어언 2개월, 본인이 궁금한 주제를 다뤄 달라는 제작 요청이 들어왔습니다. 세상에
오럴수가 이제 이 블로그가 점점 입소문이 퍼지나 봐요! 너무 기쁩니다!! 앞으로도 궁금한 것들이 있다면 댓글로 남겨 주세요. 최선을 다해 답변을 해 드리도록 하겠습니다.
요약
1. 일상생활과 성생활, 사회적 관계에 실질적인
문제가 발생하는 수준이 아니라면 자위 중독이라고 말하기 어렵다.
2. 다만 자위를 하지 못했을 때나 그런 상황에 노출되었을 때 강박 증상이 발견된다면 상담이나
치료를 고민해 볼 필요가 있다.
3. 자위는 신체가 가진 놀랍고 충만한 만족을 찾아내고 음미할 수 있는 시간이다. 단순한 배출이나 자기 위로가 아닌 내가 나와 하는 섹스다.
ⓒInstinctus Co., Ltd.
-
출처
및 참고자료
1. Ejaculation Frequency and Risk of Prostate Cancer: Updated Results with an Additional Decade of Follow-upBody-Safe Sex Toy Materials Guide / by Phallophile Reviews (각주 1)
2. Sex and Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19) / The NYC Health Department (각주 2)
3. Everything You Need to
Know About Masturbation ‘Addiction’ / healthline
4. 5 Reasons Masturbation
is Great for De-stressing / Ashley Laderer
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